A VERY SPECIAL THANKS TO DEADPLATYPUS FOR BEING THE REPORTER!
I’m gonna start it off easy for the resident noob
My boy Casp3r - don’t worry, I’ll be sure to use lube
Oh no wait, what’s that? I guess you’re underage
Another teenage wannabe from Miami-Dade
You wanna be a rap hero but your karma is zero
With all the love you get from reddit you should be more like De Niro
You wanna rap, wanna spit it, wanna follow your dream
You’re so pathetic you can’t even join a Game of Hip-Hop team
You’re a ghost, call you Casper - I’m scared ‘cause you’re faster
But how are you faster at 87 bpm?
You’re not in time with the beat so get back into your seat
Where you can rock out to some Pitbull while you stare at your feet
Indecisive94 is only slightly more popular
With 73 comment karma, you’re classified as “unpopular”
You made a post three years ago but then you went on hiatus
But about that EDH deck - please be sure to update us
You play Guitar Hero Live and don't have Xbox friends?
You play Magic: the Gathering; you don't have ANY friends
I don’t have much more to say because there’s not much to hit
You’ve never spit it before? I’m not surprised, ‘cause it’s shit
You play Hearthstone, too - now you are clearly a nerd
And you’re a noob too, come to think of it, ‘cause nobody’s heard
About you, but they will now that I’ve said this part
You might win this rap battle, but you’ll never win her heart
I’ll let you go back to your Watsky record now. When he talks it’s almost like he’s talking to you. If only that were true.
Hey Jinjeet! Don’t think you’d get away without a callout
No redditing for you, I’ll hit the archives for the fallout
You grab so many votes each time you’re like a fuckin’ octopus
Remember 94? You tried to pull a fuckin’ Platypus!
“Putty” wasn’t special, nor your singing on “Stay”
I can’t hear “Dead or Dying” - it got taken down without delay
I’ll admit that “Never Bothered”’s still my fave Game of Bands song
But you’re bound to make a good one after so damn long
The Cubs just won the series - weren’t you watching in the last one? Back in Round 82, I bet you saw Joe Tinker blast one
Your music skill’s formidable, I really have to say
But you didn’t check in for like five fuckin’ days
I’m amazed at all the votes, bet it helps that you’re a mod
Maybe Casper and ‘Decisive walk in footsteps that you trod
But I doubt it. Like the other noobs, they’ll drop off the earth
They’ll disappear into nothing, just like what your track’s worth