Sweet to see you, I'm the suave sir, Sixty Second Sammy Smith
I've pleasured plenty playful people, I love when ladies' loins are lit
Not shy, no shame, no shirt or shoes, I'll show you that my shag's the shit
Letting limitless labia lower libidos, loving on linen, my lust is legit
Set your sights on sexy,
Tantalizing talk, I'll take your tighter to the taunting top
Please prepare for a plenty
pleasure til I stop
Riveting revolutions, raising raucous, rear-reacting
Ogled, obeyed, ordered, owing; offending, obstructed, Overacting?
Was my prowess all a ruse, have I been lied upon?
by Daisy, Dani, Dallas, Dana, Deborah, Demi, Dora, Dawn?
Maybe a minute was modestly mini, but many have said it was mighty
I can't help but eye individuals, thinking I've imprinted something enlightening
Yawns and yeahs all under-yearned, no yoo-hoos ever earned
Looking like a loser, I look back at all that I have learned.
All of this alliteration
doesn't seem to certify as super sexy stimulation
Next time I'll be sure to
last much longe- ... Fuck, I came.
As I faded into sleep,
Drifting gently into dream,
I saw a man that must have been my spirit guide
I stood on stage, and even though,
My karaoke kinda blows,
The people cheered, because they took it all in stride.
Then I looked, and in a fit,
Not in HD, but in 8 bit,
I saw a pixelated man who raised his hand.
He made the horns of the beast,
We sat right down and had a feast,
And bit the heads off bats and birds, and ate their glands!
Then I heard my father’s voice,
And he said son, you have a choice,
To follow the path of what is right and what is wrong.
And as I thought he had a point,
The 8 bit man passed me a joint,
And I forgot… um…
I fell asleep within the dream,
It was a dream within a dream.
The weed I smoked was just that good, or so I thought.
Until I woke and I had found
I was bent over at a hoedown,
You can imagine that I was very much distraught.
The moral of the tale, if you can listen anymore,
Is never trust a man with fewer bits than the ones you knew before,
Keep it safe, keep it clean, avoid a nightmare instead of a dream,
And you won’t end up on the wrong side of a bungholing machine!