“Pirates Shoot Ninjas. Get Sunk.”
I been hearin’ whispers as of late,
And since ye’s all are being me good shipmates
Gather ye round, and I’ll give it to ye straight,
And settle this old Pirate versus Ninja debate.
I been sailin’ the Caribbean for years,
Pillage and plundering, and causing nightmares,
And never once, from Tortuga to the Bahamas,
Have I heard tales of scary men in pajamas.
Lots of talk and rumors of thieves in the night,
The kinds what’ll kill ye before you know its time to fight,
Well spit on that, fer I’m a legend on black sails,
I’ll make yer bowels run loose and give ye piss-shiver quails.
Because I’m a bloody pirate, mate, Scourge of the Seven Seas,
I plunder booty and rape the rich, and I do it with ease.
Me standard’s the Jolly Roger, a laughin’ skull and crossed bones,
And if ye think me easy prey, ye’ll be meetin’ Davey Jones.
‘Cuz I’m a pirate. I live but to Murder and steal.
Me mind’s as sharp as me cutlass and me tongue speaks slippery like an eel.
And now ye know of Pirates, and our most dangerous characters,
So let me give ye the rundown on who these Ninjas arrrrrrr.
So the best ye can do is throw around stars?
That’ll barely leave a scratch, and wenches love me scars.
And I see ye’ve got grappling hooks to help ye climb walls…
I’ve got a black powder pistol to force ye to taste me lead balls.
I hear stories that ye ninjas are silent, they call you “Masters of the Sneak”
Well, I’ll believe that when ye quit trippin’ on yer own beat…
To win this I don’t even have to prep,
Yer strongest weapon is called a Tonto,
But when my side got Johnny Depp,
He was Captain Jack Sparrow!
Ye should stick to yer anime and yer hentai, Otaku.
‘Cause I’ve got a broadside of cannons,
And all ye’ve got is juijitsu.
Pirates will always beat Ninjas,
And ye can take that to the bank.
Now sneak back into the shadow ye came from
Before I make ye walk the fucking plank.